Just One Wish
by kiwikris
Summary: a Hobbit au where Kili is a university student struggling with everything
1. Chapter 1

**author's note: Hi, this is my first story that I've ever published so I'm a bit nervous about whether people will like it or not. Please read and review, constructive criticism only, no hate.**

**also this will be a multi fic, I'm not entirely sure where it's going so we'll all just have to wait and see. As I am currently studying at uni please be patient. I'll update as often as I can but uni comes first. **

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_Why? Am I doomed to fail? Will I ever finish this degree? All I want to do is travel. See the world, experience new things. Maybe even get a job. Everyone's going to be furious. Sure they won't show it so much but I know how they'll react. Mum will be disappointed. She'll say you did you best and that's what matters, there's always next semester. But the disappointment is there, written on her face. She'll be thinking where did I go wrong with this son? Uncle Thorin won't say anything. He might grunt to acknowledge that I said something but he'll sit there and fume in silence because he's wasted all this money on me to go to uni and I've wasted it all by not being finished yet, and he'll have to fork out even more money so I can keep going. He already thinks its bad enough that I'm doing a shitty arts degree that won't get me anywhere and now I'm failing even that. And Fili. Fili will smile at me with that sad smile and say everything will be alright but he doesn't believe that anymore. I'm just his __disappointing little brother who can do anything right. Just an embarrassment._

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Kili was staring at his final results for the semester. Four fails. Add that to the two fails he had gotten last semester and he would be placed on academic probation for the next year. This year had been a total disaster. Two weeks in to the beginning of first semester Lydia had broken up with him. They had been together for the last three years. Kili had thought that everything had been fine between them. She had graduated last year and gotten a job as a secretary at a local law firm, it wasn't that far from campus so they could still hang out. But Lydia had said they had nothing in common anymore and broke it off. A couple of weeks after that Kili had seen her with another guy making out passionately at the bus stop in town. That destroyed his hopes completely of ever getting back together.

So as not to feel the pain, Kili started to drink away his problems and dabble in drugs, which seemed to always be available in the dorms. He knew what had been the problem in first semester and had decided to get things back on track for second but somehow it just didn't seem to work out.

Now Kili was facing the prospect of spending the next two months at home with everyone's disappointment.

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That Friday night Kili got completely trashed. It was an end of semester party and Kili was determined to get so drunk that he wouldn't be able to move for a few days. He figured at least this way his family could get over their shock of him being a failure and he'd still be too drunk to care.

The party was at a mate's house just off campus. When Kili arrived it seemed as though half the student population were already there. Music was blaring out of the house from a number of open windows and there were plenty of students laughing and drinking out the front. Some of them seemed to be already drunk, or high. Kili headed inside to find a beer or three and see if he could find anyone he knew. Inside he was pointed in the direction of the backyard where a kid's inflatable pool had been filled with ice and alcohol. After grabbing a few beers Kili meandered through the crowd, keeping an eye out for anyone he knew. He saw a few people from some of his classes but no one he knew well. Eventually he found himself in a corner of the yard which had been commandeered by the resident potheads. There Kili stayed smoking and drinking til he eventually passed out.

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When Kili woke up and opened his eyes, the world was spinning and the sky was too bright. As he rolled over on to his side, Kili groaned and rubbed his eyes thinking he was probably to only person still there. However when he could finally focus on his surroundings, he saw that there were others passed out in the yard. Surprisingly, there were quite a lot of people still there. Very slowly Kili sat up. Everything hurt. His head, his back, his eyes, his hair. He didn't know that hair could hurt. He looked at his watch which was still on his wrist. 9:45. Normally he would have still been out to it for another twelve hours at least. Kili could have sworn he had gotten outrageously drunk and mildly high. Just then one of the guys who lives in the house, or at least Kili thought he did, came over to him.

"Hey man, you alright?" he asked, a concerned look on his face.

"What day is it?" Kili asked.

"Its Saturday, not quite 10 am. The party was only last night. Which dorm you in? We've organised a booze bus to take everyone back to their dorms. I'm Ben by the way."

"Kili. I'm in Redman." Kili replied.

"Excellent," said Ben. "Come on let's get you out the front. The bus should be back soon and there are others waiting out there."

Ben crouched down beside Kili wrapping an arm under his and helping him to stand up. Kili's whole world shifted then and he nearly passed out. He would have fallen over if it hadn't been for Ben holding him up. Somehow, Ben got Kili up the stairs, through the house, around the bodies of passed out people still there, and out to the front where the bus was waiting. It was a twelve seater but already it was full of very hungover people.

Ben helped Kili up in to the last empty seat and said to the driver, "this one's for Redman House." Ben then said to Kili, "take it easy man, drink lots of water and get plenty of sleep. And good luck with everything." And with that he was gone.

The trip back to his dorm was fairly short an uneventful but for Kili it was excruciatingly painful. With a pounding headache and churning stomach coupled together with the motion of the bus, he couldn't get out fast enough when the bus did finally stop in front of his dorm. Kili stumbled out of the bus and on to the lawn in front of the dorm and threw up. A few people walked passed him on their way to wherever they were going but no one stopped to see if he was okay. Once Kili was feeling steadier and had stopped throwing up, he staggered up to his room where he shed his clothes and passed out on his bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Since it is my birthday, I'm giving you all a present with another chapter. I know**** it's been a while since I uploaded, assignments got in the way as they do and I wasn't happy with the ending of this chapter. There is some more exciting stuff to come I promise, I just need to make it work**

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Monday morning 9am

Kili was waiting at the station to catch the train back home. He was still feeling seedy from Friday night and was hoping that he hadn't left anything behind. Kili had no intention of returning to uni next year. He had had enough. The last two days he had done a lot of thinking when he wasn't sleeping. It hadn't been an easy decision to make, not going back. Kili could imagine that his family would be less than happy about the decision especially since he had no idea what he was going to do instead. And since he had been so hungover Kili wasn't entirely sure if the decision had been made cause it was what he wanted to do at the time or if he it was what he wanted deep down. Either way he was determined to stick with it.

He knew that his mum and Fili would try to talk him round, saying not to give up and that he had a couple of months to decide what he wanted to do before classes started back in autumn. However it was the thought of his uncle that scared him the most. Kili was worried what would happen when he told his uncle that he wasn't going back. While Thorin was normally not a violent man, this might be just the thing that would open old wounds and they would all see a side of him that they would rather not.

Rain was streaming down the windows, making it difficult to see out as the train pulled in to the train platform at Dale. It had been raining for the last hour or so making Kili feel more and more depressed about going home. A couple of times he had considered getting off a few stops early but figured it was better to face the music now then run away like he use to do when he was younger and in trouble.

With the rain obscuring his view, Kili couldn't see who had come to collect him from the station, if anyone had come at all. As the train stopped, Kili got up, collecting his things and head for the door.

Fili was in one of the waiting rooms on the platform, waiting out of the rain for his brother. It had been a year since he had seen Kili. He hadn't come home during winter break but Kili had told him that he hadn't done well that first semester. They had seemed to have drifted apart the last couple of years, and particularly this year Kili had barely spoken to his brother. Mind you, Fili hadn't made as much effort as he could have to stay in touch. Still, that didn't prepare him for the sight of his brother. In Fili's, mind Kili was still the sweet little kid who had gone off to uni full of hopes and dreams, brimming with determination. Now his little brother stood before him, damp from the rain and looking thin and dishevelled. It was a stark contrast to what Fili had imagined and quite a shock. It seemed as though their mum and uncle would be in for a shock too when the boys got home.

Once out of the rain, Kili pushed the hair out of his face and saw Fili. He looked almost the same as when Kili had left for uni the previous summer. Blond hair cut short and slicked back, a bit of a beard going on, tanned, well built; in a word, perfect. Basically everything Kili was not, making him feel even more depressed than the weather did.

Fili took a deep breath and said tentatively, "Hi Kili, ready to go home then? Mum and Thorin have been looking forward to you coming home for weeks now."

Kili saw the smile that crept on to Fili's face didn't quite reach his eyes. Kili could see the uncertainty there. "Sure, let's go," he said.

Fili lead the way from the station to the car with a million thoughts running through his head, each more outrageous than the last. Kili also was lost in though. So lost, that Fili had to reach out a hand to stop him from walking right past the car. In that instant, Fili felt how skinny his brother really was and it scared him. He had never known Kili to be so skinny, not even when they were kids. Something had to be really wrong.

The drive home was deadly silent except for the usual car noises and the radio playing softly. Kili was hunched in his seat, arms crossed in front of him as if he was cold, staring blankly out the window. Every now and then Fili would glance over to his little brother, worried look on his face, wondering if there was anything he could do.

As the car pulled in to the driveway, Kili settled a blank mask on his face to hide how he was feeling. Inside he was worried as hell as to what was going to happen. The whole drive home he had been imagining scenarios which involved a lot of shouting and screaming, the throwing of things and punches, and Kili either going to hide in his room or storming out, never to return. In any case, these thoughts just kept getting worse to the point where Kili imagined Thorin knocking him out. It was no wonder then that as Fili turned the car off, Kili was struggling to get a hold of himself. As they walked up to the front to the front door, it opened. It took all of Kili's will power not to turn and bolt at this point. Dis came out of the door and looked at them both, taking in Fili's worried look and Kili's attempt to control his emotions. While he may have been able to hide how he felt from the rest of the world, Dis always knew what her boys were thinking.

"Oh my boys," she said, opening up her arms to engulf Kili in a hug. Unable to avoid it, Kili let himself be embraced, breathing in his mother's scent and remembering all the good times he had had. He hugged her back hard, not wanting to let go of those memories. Fili smiled at this, thinking that Kili must have just been homesick. He grabbed Kili's bag out of his hand and took it upstairs to his room.

When Kili and Dis finally let go of each other, Dis looked up in to Kili's face. "I'm so glad to see you home. How are you? Is everything ok? How was uni?" Dis looked at Kili with warmth and hope on her face but Kili didn't miss it.

There was that look of worry and disappointment. "Is Uncle Thorin here?" Kili asked, not bothering to answer his mum's questions.

"No honey, he's still at the office. But he should be home for dinner."

As they went inside Kili went straight up to his room rather than follow his mum in to the kitchen. The door was open and his bag was on the bed where Fili had put it. Kili shut the door and moved a large box full of stuff in front of it, trying to make it difficult for anyone to get in. The door had no lock on it so Kili had to improvise. It hadn't of mattered that the doors didn't lock when he was younger. He and Fili would constantly be in and out of each other's rooms. But now, particularly over the last year, Kili craved his privacy and the ability to shut people out.

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**I hope you enjoyed that and sorry about the ending. please review**


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